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TWO ENGLISH TOURISTS IN WALES
Two English tourists driving inWales.They stop for lunch inLlanfairpwlgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllantysiliogogogoch.One of them asks the waitress, "Could you settle an argument? Can you pronounce where we are, very, very slowly?"The girl leans over and says"Burrr-gurrr-king yoou twaaat"

     coopes64 submitted 6 days ago
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The Perfect Man
THE PERFECT MAN

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: 'Hello'

WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes'

WOMAN: 'I am at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2, 000. Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new Models. I saw one I really liked.'

MAN: 'How much?'

WOMAN: '$90,000'

MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'

WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000?

MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 80 thousand if it's really a pretty good deal.'

WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'

MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.


He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'

     coopes64 submitted 3 months ago
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Some Funny Golf Terms
Funny Golf Terms

A Sally Gunnell – not pretty but a good runner
A Paris Hilton – an expensive hole
A Dennis Wise – a nasty 5 footer
A Maradona – a very nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie – impossible to read
A Rio Ferdinand – lipped out
A Rock Hudson – looked straight, but wasn’t
A Cuban – needs one more revolution
An Elton John – a big bender that lips the rim
A Hitler – two shots in the bunker
An Arafat – ugly and buried in the sand
A Kate Winslett – a bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Kate Moss – thin and close to rough
A Gerry Adams – playing a Provisional
A Glen Miller – kept low and didn’t make it over the water
An Arthur Scargill – a great strike but a poor result
A Rodney King – over-clubbed
An O. J. – got away with it
A Paula Radcliffe – not as ugly as a Gunnell but still a good runner
A Princess Grace – should have taken a driver
A Robin Cook – just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson – too high to make it
A Douglas Bader – looked good in the air, but didn’t have the legs
An Arsene Wenger – never saw it
A Ken Livingstone – quite far left
A Jean-Marie LePen – a long way right
A Ladyboy – looks like an easy hole but not what it seems
An elephant’s arse – high wide and sh*tty
A condom – safe but didn’t feel real good
A circus tent – a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova – looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones – nasty kick when you’re not expecting it
A Ryanair – regular flight but lands a long way from the objective
A Blondie – a fair old crack

     coopes64 submitted 6 months ago
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Spooky Pic!!!!
Got a new print the wife bought by Klimt. All I see is Michael Jackson can you spot him? lol

     coopes64 submitted 8 months ago
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well i think that's called payment in kind! lol
pmsl

     coopes64 submitted 8 months ago
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Firefox versus Internet Explorer
Ha! Ha!

     coopes64 submitted 8 months ago
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No Gypos!
lol

     coopes64 submitted 8 months ago
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Be careful where you bend over!
funny sign

     coopes64 submitted 8 months ago
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good road sign!
lolol

     coopes64 submitted 8 months ago
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There may be trouble ahead!..........
and moonlight and ..... lol

     coopes64 submitted 8 months ago
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